Sometimes I think...

12.04.26 on a fine Sunday

Tbh I already lost my train of thought by the time I started writing this, but I've been thinking of the whole posting online thing, it has been nagging me in all sort of directions. I never really had the nack to post anything, be it a picture in instagram or a comment under a video, and whenever I did, it felt odd to leave that piece there. Writing this odd journal entry here is also leaving me with a weird feeling of discomfort or the like, I don't know how to describe it. When I'm out in the world I don't usually take videos or pictures and even if I do, they will sit in the bottom of my gallery, forgotten until the day I sweep my phone clean. But at the same time I feel like I should put more care into capturing the moments I think are important, but towards what end? And if I put in the effort to capture the moment and build the courage and genuine want to share it, then did I live in the moment at all? Sharing experiences should feel natural, but why does it feel wrong too...I don't know where I'm even going with this, but there are two sides on this boat of mine. One is the lack of interest to share my thoughts and observations with the world and the other is an odd want of having like a lifeboard of my thoughts, quotes and visual moments that I could look at and say "yeah that happened" cause otherwise I wouldn't remember. But do I need to remember it all with pictures and videos that pile on and on until they start taking hard drives to store.